Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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