apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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