Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
