i will never coherently bang her
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
