This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I AM VODKA MAN
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
