You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
