I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize