you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
