I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
