Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
