So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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