I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
