you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Randomize
