Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
its liver damage thursday
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
