Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
