All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
