I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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