i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
It was like giving head to a cactus.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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