Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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