I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize