I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
