This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
