Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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