you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
