check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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