a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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