So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
