I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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