dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
