you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
