So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize