North Korea, Best Korea!
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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