I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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