looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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