i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
