belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
