so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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