I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
