Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
