Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
