there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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