Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I accidentally burped into my bong.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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