Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Randomize
