i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
