Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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