I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
