I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
