Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
