YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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