Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
