oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
