So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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