...so i touched it.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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