whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize
