I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
