But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize
